SARAJEVO AUG/SEPT 09

I was met at the airport by Salilh, who does all the driving for Healing Hands. He drove me to the lovely HHN house where I was welcomed by the three therapists already in residence.

Our journey through Sarajevo took us down the huge main street, nicknamed “Snipers Alley” during the siege of Sarajevo, because the men in the hills were able to shoot and bomb the street at random. It is a three-lane highway. I was aware how easy it was for the snipers to pick out pedestrians and people sitting in the windows of their apartments. The buildings show the pock-marked scars: they are peppered with bullet holes or mortar blast cavities. These holes standing as a memorial to those who lost their lives or their limbs at this cruel time.

It seems extraordinary to me that this could have happened in such a city. Sarajevo is not a third world town, it is a thriving modern bustling city, like any other, with offices, apartments, factories, hotels and large commercial buildings. However, surrounded on all sides by hills, it lives in a basin, a perfect target for those who wish to threaten its stability and hold control. And they did! For three years the inhabitants of this town could be picked out indiscriminately and shot, regardless of age, gender, creed, political views, and they lived from day to day not knowing whether they would survive.

We passed The Holiday Inn, where the journalists waited, like vultures, for excitement, stories, and gruesome news. And prior to that we passed the Market, where many were rounded up and shot. What horrors! What cruelty man can do to man!

On my first day..........

The people came and the work began. Gentle and dignified people, with inner and outer scars. The marks of cruelty.

A man bowed down, with responsibilities to heavy to bear and the death or his son in the war.

A woman with deep scars from mortar wounds, that hold for ever the memory of her husbands death.

A mother from Srebrenica, remembering the missing. (Over 7,000 men and boys disappeared there. Only in May they buried another 500.)

A concentration camp victim, deeply affected.

I realised that I have great compassion, but I cannot begin to imagine their pain, and the memories they hold of violation and violence. Many women were raped.

There seems to be no bitterness. Maybe it hurts too much to want to inflict it on anyone else!

I wondered if there was resignation in the air -”nothing to be done now, just live as best we can.” After such pain, such treatment, can these older ones dare to hope for happiness, for a future?

I found myself asking so many questions: Why? Who is at fault? Where is the blame to be placed? Are we all to blame for such atrocities? Man is greedy for power. But how can such hatred and killing occur? And who cares? And all in the name of religion and race. What madness and inhumanity can be held in man's mind and heart!

And so for the rest of the week they come, with their hearts full of grief hidden behind beautiful smiles and gratitude for the touch. Some with amputated limbs, some with the need to keep busy and rarely relax. Some stooping and some with the loss of many many family members. Many holding the stress of numerous beatings, and many who narrowly missed death. This is sad disturbing and unbelievable for me. They are so proud, brave and dignified!

At the weekend there was time to rest and take a deeper look at the town of Sarajevo. I went on the 'Tunnel Tour', which helped me to understand more about the people I see in the clinic. There was (and still is) a spirit in Sarajevo that wont give up! They are a people who have merged from many cultures and they seem to have enormous strength and grounding. They love their city and were outraged by the Serbian advances: they would not give in! Our guide told us how life continued 'underground' in the basements. Children were educated, teenagers had discos, friends met to sing and make music and life continued. But food was not good and not enough. Milk and eggs were priceless. Some people were near to starving.

The Serbs hoped to starve them to make them surrender. So the Sarajevans build a lifeline, a tunnel, which went from the town, under the airport, (which was neutral and UN controlled) to an area from which they could access the part of Bosnia that was still free. They dug half a mile, starting from each end, meeting in the middle. That's amazing in itself! Through this tunnel life continued. The wounded were taken to safety, food and goats came in, soldiers and ammunition were moved (every man from 18-65 was fighting). Even tobacco came in (to the factory) and went out again as cigarettes. The tunnel was low, so everyone who went through was hunched – even more so if they had a heavy load on their back. I watched a film showing the tunnel in use, and also one of an attack on the town, and I wondered why I hadn't seen some of this on the news and been as moved and tearful about it as I felt then. Our guide pointed out Sarajevo's “twin towers”, which burned and were left as shells. Bombs were dropped indiscriminately. Snipers shot walkers in the legs as they crossed the road and then shot their rescuers in the head! But people went on saving each other! They had to defy their fear. 11,000 people died during the three year siege and 1600 were children!

The tunnel house is now a museum and the family who own it want it to remain a memorial to those brave ones who created it and used for the good of the city and its people.

So we continued in the second week, giving gentle treatments for gentle souls, emotionally damaged, but full of gratitude and kisses and hugs and remarks like “best treatment ever”. I'm sure they say that each time, but it gave me energy to keep going despite the tiredness. (70 treatments in two weeks is alot!)

One man, however, felt no better! He never does. He was unable to make eye contact and was very nervous and tense. He didn't want massage, didn't want to be touched too deeply I think. But the therapy goes deep. In spite of himself, he relaxed. He even closed his eyes, and almost slept. Afterwards he almost made eye contact, but remembered not to....who can blame his lack of trust and his need to hold on and not let go. One day he will.......

These people are rebuilding their lives. They are learning to live with the scars and their losses. It was good to see the kids around. A new generation, who know nothing of the siege and the dark times. Teenagers abound, as in any city, in the coffee bars and clubs and shops, with their mobile phones and fashion clothes – they could come from anywhere.

Sadly there are still refugees from the eastern part of Bosnia, who came to Sarajevo after the war and now want to stay. Some are enabled to make a good life in the city. Others, older and lonely, have very little and wait patiently for government assistance -shelter and food – which is still not forthcoming........

'Healing Hands Network' brings relief to these people. Just the fact that someone cares enough to come a very long way to give them support and compassion and gentle touch, many supported by caring sponsors, affects them deeply. They gain so much from the therapies and show their gratitude with hugs and smiles and joy. Looking at their histories, many of them have improved in physical and emotional health and have learned to relax and begin to move forward in their lives. As they move on there are still more waiting to be treated.....

Craniosacral Therapy brought a new dimension to the treatment of many clients. Due to numerous previous therapies, some were ready to go deeper. On several occasions clients felt deep changes as shock released. Some of them have held shock in their system for so long that it begins to feel normal. The relief and relaxation afforded in release from past trauma, can bring both joy and tears (for me too!).

There are many ways in which you can help the work of this small and wonderful charity. Their web site is www.healinghandsnetwork.org.uk There you will find information on how to volunteer as a therapist or donate to the work.  And if you would like to sponsor my return to Sarajevo next year, please go to www.mycharitypage.com/shabdambb where you can donate directly to the charity.